PARENTING POST TRAUMA: 2013

Friday 1 February 2013

Jigsaw Child

I feel like a jigsaw puzzle

Some of my pieces are lost

Others are mis-shapen broken bent

My edges are unique sharp smooth

I came into the World womb weary wary

Bathed in fear fuelled hormones I was formed

Puzzle pieces already shaping to misfire misfit

Primed to react recoil reject right from birth

Many try to make my puzzle whole

To find to fit the pieces together

But so many are misplaced mismatched misunderstood

So it’s frustrating infuriating hard to fathom

My jagged jigsaw may never be complete

Small medium large gaps spaces voids

Learning to accept this is the key

As incomplete puzzles are puzzlingly precious too

Jane Evans
Trauma Parenting & Behaviour Skills Specialist
Mobile: 07946318404 Landline: 01249 721104
Twitter: @janeparenting
Website: www.parentingposttrauma.co.uk
Blog: http://janeevansparenting.blogspot.com

Tuesday 22 January 2013

I Bore Witness......

I bore witness to your beatings

I lay in bed listened and longed for it to end

I was upstairs I was outside but I knew

I heard I saw I felt too much

I bore witness to the bruises you wore

I counted each cut on your pale skin

I felt every blow bash shove kick

I was powerless to protect you

I bore witness to the way he wore you down

I heard the begging pleading endless regrets

I silently willed you to leave and him to stop

I inwardly seethed resented hated

I bore witness to your addiction to him

I begged you to want more to want better

I lived with teeth gritted fists clenched

I am grown its over I bear witness no more

When surviving in a violent and abusive relationship it is often hard to fully acknowledge what children may see and feel on a daily basis. At the time they may learn to show nothing as it would not safe to but this does not mean they will not be aware of the violence and abuse and feel that they want to rescue the victim and stop the perpetrator.

It is important to help children process what they have seen, heard and felt once they are in a safe place as this will enable them to be able to make sense of their lived experience so they can manage the effects of the trauma, without it defining their future.