Saturday, 14 July 2012

Leaving - a child's view

What's Mum doing at school, it's not home time.  She says I have to come now and won't even let me change out of my PE kit.  Why is there a taxi full of bags waiting outside?  Mum says we are going on a kind of holiday but Dad's not coming, nor is Bengy, my dog.  Mum won't answer my questions about where we are actually going, she just does a tight face smile but not with her eyes.  Maybe she really is crazy, Dad always calls her the "Crazy Bitch", never "your Mum".  The Crazy Bitch forgot my fags, the Crazy Bitch cooks crap, the Crazy Bitch........ on an on.  I just used to want to shout, "CALL HER MUM, SHE'S MY MUM" but was too afraid.

How will Miss Clark know where I am, what will she tell everyone in class?  What about Raj, I'm going to his for tea tonight, wonder if he will wait for me after school?  Ben's still got my Rooney shinny as well, will I get that back now, it's my best one?  What about Amy, she said I could have some of her apple at last break?  Mum seems jumpy, talking too much and squeezing my hand too hard.

Finally, we are here, where's here, somewhere but where, Mum won't say.  So many bags to bring in, heavy too, I'll help, have too as Dad's not around but then he would have called us "lazy" anyway and probably kicked the bags before dragging them in.  It's like a big house with loads of bedrooms, big kitchens, a play room, garden, all kind of weird.  Some woman's been talking with Mum for ages, Mum starts crying, I want to go home, Bengy will have missed his walk and won't know where I am.  I wonder what Dad's doing?  Going mental 'cos Mum's not there to cook his tea, hope he feeds Bengy though.

There's other kids here, some little, one big girl and Kate and Ty the same age as me.  Mum says we can all be friends but I want Amy, Raj and Ben not new friends.  I get to share a bedroom with Mum, I miss my things but want to be near her as it feels scary here with all these strangers.  Mum says I can sleep in her bed if I want - I do, then I can keep us safe.

I don't want to leave our room, Mum says I need to go out and play but what if the other kids are mean or think I'm strange because I came here in my PE kit and my Mum keeps crying all the time.  I want to ask Mum but she's on the phone the whole time to Auntie Liz and Nan and Jaz.  I'm hungry, when is tea, how will we get any, can I just take something from the kitchen?  Mum keeps saying, "in a minute, in a minute".  Downstairs now, Kate's given me a biscuit, her Mum seems kind, she's cooking me some tea, Kate says let's go play, she likes footie and might have a Rooney shinny to swop later.

Bedtime Mum says, she puts me in the bath, not our bath, no toys but she sits and chats, she says we will be OK.  We can't go home 'cos Dad is too angry right now and might hurt us but Auntie Liz has Bengy so he's safe, I start to cry then,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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