I am the child......

I am the child who lived with chaos, unpredictability and a hunger to be held, to feel love
I am the child who cried and noone came, who smiled and received a frown, who did not learn to laugh
I am the child who felt so many things sadness, excitement, anxiety, fear, curiosity, confusion
I am the child who without help to fathom my feelings so they sat in me then as they sit in me now

I am the adult who wants to be held, caressed, embraced but can not ask for it
I am the adult who shows too many, too few emotions to loved ones, to strangers, to you
I am the adult with no words to set free feelings so I unleash them with cold cuts into my skin
I am the adult who drinks and dopes my brain to suffocate and sedate a fountain of feelings

I am the child who lived with chaos, unpredictability and a hunger to be held, to feel love
I am the child who learnt to connect with you when you accepted all of me
I am the child who found words for my feelings when you did too
I am the child who knows, feels, and bathes in love from you
I am the child who will be the parent with love to give, feelings to share, acceptance to offer.

Dedicated to all the incredible families I have had the privilege to work alongside of, who have shown so much courage when working hard to recover, rebuild and move on together from the trauma and abuse they lived through.