Behind these eyes there is so much going on
Behind these eyes lies the truth
Oh I have learnt to look blank
I have learnt to look at you & through you
I know not to blink look away or show emotion
Behind these eyes you would fall into a chasm
Swirling boiling black and bubbling
Full of anger hatred fear frustration desire
I want to hit kick slap shove bite bash you
I want to spit in your face pull out your hair
I want to push you hard down each of the stairs
You hurt the one I love most
You made me not love you
You stole my childhood
You gave me nightmares
You made me see danger and fear everywhere
I could not show you how I felt
I could not tell you to stop
I could not save her
I could only stare keep still show nothing
I could only wish you were gone for good
I t did not stop me wanting to really hurt you
I t did not stop me raging inside at you at what you did
It did not stop me wanting you to love me
When I see you now that is what lies behind these eyes
This is a Poem from a child to the perpetrator of domestic violence and abuse. So often we underestimate what is going on for children who lives through this repeated trauma as they show us very little but we should never underestimate the strong feelings they learn to suppress.
The work I do is about supporting an approach to parenting and children which enables strong feelings and pain to be explored and expressed other than through challenging behaviour and by hurting others.
Very often living with violence and abuse means that children grow up with little or no understanding of feelings and this makes life incredibly difficult for them and those who care for them post the abuse. The right kind of support can help build in emotional intelligence which will offer a child much better outcomes and will help create a better parent-child relationship with the non-abusive parent/carer.
For more information:
www.parentingposttrauma.co.uk
